Altar Boy

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I had the best job in the world till I was eleven years old.  Then I was forced into early retirement without benefits.  My name is Alter Boy, former herd stallion extraordinaire.  I’m thinking of suing for wrongful termination.  Just imagine how many feminine equine hearts were shattered.  Maybe we should file a class action suit.  My friends tell me to get on with my life--easy for them to say.  Well at least I’ll always have my hundreds of off-spring to remind me of the good old days.

 

I’m a miniature horse.  The miniature horse is the result of nearly 400 years of selective breeding.  The American Miniature Horse Association, (AMHA), formed in 1978, is the world’s largest horse registry, with nearly 140,000 registered horses (thanks, in part, to me) in thirty countries.  The AMHA limits the height of a mini to not over 34 inches.  Miniature horses have the same proportions as standard size horses, we’re just smaller.

 

I live with Marcia now.  There are plenty of pretty ladies here for me to socialize with.  Have you seen Ali?  She makes my heart skip a beat.  She’s really fun too.  I call to her and chase her whenever I get the opportunity.  She likes to play, but it’s hard for me to keep up with her.  Her shapely legs are three times longer than mine. 

 

When I’m not playing, I have a job to do at the farm.  I like to pull the kids in a carriage round and round in the ring.  We practice at the farm, but then Haley takes me to shows to compete in carriage driving.  She likes me because I’m so cute.  If you ask her, she may admit that I’m also a little naughty.  I love to be scratched.  If Haley is sitting and waiting for the next event, I practically knock her out of her chair and stomp the ground until I get scratched.  She knows she has found just the right spot when I make my funny face and sigh.  They say head bumping is bad manners, but I’m just saying “let’s play” when I fling my head into Haley’s stomach.  She’s a really good sport.  Am I being too pushy?

 

I like George too.  He shows me in-hand, which means he leads me and I have to look really smart for the judges.  That’s easy, since in my days as a famous herd stallion; I was shown extensively to impress the mares and their owners.  If they liked me, I got to do my job.  I did my best since, as I’ve already mentioned, I really liked my job. There was one part, however, that I don’t miss – getting kicked.  Most of the damage was done to my throat.  You can tell because I cough a lot. 

 

It may sound a little bit like I’m complaining, but honestly, I’m not.  I got to be a famous stallion when I was younger and now I get to play with other horses and kids.  I just realized, I still have the best job in the world. 

 


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